CLIENT INFORMATION LETTER #55

REMARKS BY YOUR SPOUSE

A prominent Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers compiled the following list of intimidating remarks that are frequently made by one spouse to the other. Over the years of our practice we have heard the same or similar comments which we believe, by your reading this in advance, will help fortify you for this very trying matrimonial litigation that you face. These typical remarks are as follows:
  • "I am going to drag this case out forever. By the time you get your share of the property, you'll be too old to enjoy it."
  • "If you persist in your economic demands, I am going to file a custody action and take the children away from you."
  • "I've got the best lawyer in town. He's going to kill you and your lawyer."
  • "My lawyer is mean. He's going to make your life miserable."
  • "Your lawyer is a crook. His only interest is to drag out the case in order to make more money."
  • "You've gotten yourself the most expensive lawyer around. The two lawyers are going to eat up all of the assets that we acquired during our marriage."
  • "My lawyer knows all of the judges. There's no way you are going to get a decent result in court."
  • "I was ready to give you a fair settlement. Now that you got a lawyer, I am going to play hard ball and you're going to end up with much less than I was willing to give you."
  • "Your lawyer is too busy to handle this case."
  • "Your lawyer is too busy to handle this case."
  • "You can't trust divorce lawyers. They always work with the lawyer on the other side and run up unnecessary time to make money."
  • "You're crazy for pushing this divorce case. All that you are doing is taking money away from the children."
  • "If you don't settle on a reasonable basis, I will have to take the children out of school."
  • "I'm going to tell the children that you are responsible for this mess."
  • "At the rate you and your lawyer are going, I'll have to declare bankruptcy and nobody is going to win."
  • "If you don't settle on my terms, I'm going to drag your girlfriend [or boyfriend] into this case."
  • "You can't trust divorce lawyers. They always work with the lawyer on the other side and run up unnecessary time to make money."
The above are merely illustrative of what our divorce clients may hear from time to time from their spouses. Hopefully, your spouse isn't the kind who makes such statements. On the other hand, you may be on the receiving end of such remarks or of variations on the theme. Our experience has been that there rarely is any basis for such comments. If you do hear any of the above "garbage" from your spouse, please understand that our position is the following:
  1. We are experienced in matrimonial matters and you can be assured that we are not going to be intimidated by any such statements made by your spouse.
  2. If you have any concerns, please discuss them with us.
  3. Finally, we take pride in our adherence to the strictest of ethical standards. You can always count on our integrity and good faith in representing you.

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